Anger

“Whence is there anger


For one free from anger,

Tamed,

Living in tune-

One released through right knowing,

Calmed

And such.

You make things worse

When you flare up

At someone who’s angry.

Whoever doesn’t flare up

At someone who’s angry

Wins a battle

Hard to win.

You live for the good of both

-your own , the other’s-

When, knowing the other’s provoked,

You mindfully grow calm.

When you work the cure of both

-your own, the other’s-

Those who think you a fool

Know nothing of Dhamma.”

- Samyutta Nikaya VII.2

Restraint

“Restraint with the body is good,


Good is restraint with speech

Restraint with the heart is good

Good is restraint everywhere.

Restrained everywhere,

Conscientious

One is said to be protected.”

- SN III.5

Love yourself rightly

"If one regards oneself as dear
One should not tie oneself to evil,
For happiness is not easily gained
By one who does a wrongful deed. "

- Samyutta Nikaya 3.4

Have Metta towards yourself

We know in our mind that we should be able to forgive our enemies and love our parents, but in the heart we feel “I can never forgive them for what they’ve done.”

So then we either feel anger and resentment, or we begin to rationalize: “Because my parents were so bad, so unloving, so unkind, they made me suffer so much that I can’t forgive or forget.”

Or: “There’s something wrong with me. I’m a terrible person because I can’t forgive.”

When this happens, I’ve found it helpful to have Metta for my own feelings.

If we feel that our parents were unkind and unloving, we can have Metta toward the feeling we have in our hearts; without judgment, we can see that this is how it feels, and to accept that feeling with patience.

– Ajahn Sumedho, "The Gift of Gratitude"