Have Metta towards yourself

We know in our mind that we should be able to forgive our enemies and love our parents, but in the heart we feel “I can never forgive them for what they’ve done.”

So then we either feel anger and resentment, or we begin to rationalize: “Because my parents were so bad, so unloving, so unkind, they made me suffer so much that I can’t forgive or forget.”

Or: “There’s something wrong with me. I’m a terrible person because I can’t forgive.”

When this happens, I’ve found it helpful to have Metta for my own feelings.

If we feel that our parents were unkind and unloving, we can have Metta toward the feeling we have in our hearts; without judgment, we can see that this is how it feels, and to accept that feeling with patience.

– Ajahn Sumedho, "The Gift of Gratitude"